Award

Daniel Macintyre

It was in the year 2033 when an alien spacecraft, blatantly appearing before eyes, screens and cameras in the skies above the city of  New York, touched down strangely on the solid concrete of this human city. It was all very clear in a matter of minutes- the aliens had not come with hostile intentions, rather, they came with a certain message…

Upon landing, the craft (which was large, of a spherical shape, and so incredibly shiny that it dazzled the eyes) had opened itself up with a great mechanical clanking and groaning- a huge, metallic door rose up on alien hinges and revealed a large, metallic ramp which disgorged itself from the craft like a tongue, unravelling and extending fully till its surface was touched by the “feet” of an alien race.

This alien race was of an odd, creamy hue, their skin being of a rich, whitish kind, almost appetizing in appearance, and small, very small, about two or three feet, with little or no variation apparent in all of the individuals descending the ramp. They had odd little eyes which darted nervously about in the middle of their “faces”, which were all the more conspicuous due to the absence of a mouth. They had two legs and a third, shorter leg, which seemed to hang redundantly between the two legs in use. They had a single, long, dangly arm which extended weirdly from the centre of their “stomachs”. In the single hand of the single arm, they each carried a strange device, whose purpose was rapidly explained…

It was explained thus: “Citizens of the world Earth!” came a voice from all the devices simultaneously, unearthly yet using an Earth language, “we have come to declare a matter of some importance to you. For some time, your world has been observed by our race, and others which exist in this galaxy, and has recently been worthy of an… award! This award is to be presented to you, by means of your chosen representatives, at a special ceremony set to take place in around four of your Earth days. We have come to urge you to choose these representatives from amongst yourselves, and to venture forth with us in our vessel to attend this ceremony. No more than three of your kind may travel with us. As a gesture of our peaceful intentions, we have here a gift: a hundred of your Earth tons in gold, which we present to the citizens of this place.”

At this, a huge container-like structure came down from the alien ship; it seemed to be on a system of rollers, and controlled, in some way, remotely…

It came down the ramp slowly, made contact with the concrete with a slight bonk, and then made its way steadily forward until it came to rest a few paces distant from the other worldly craft…

“Now,” resumed the alien voice from the devices, “We expect a decision to be reached regarding your representatives in the next 24 Earth hours. We will await your choice in our vessel. We must urge you, men of Earth, not to attempt any attack or interference with our vessel during this time, lest your efforts be met with the most deadly of force! Should you refuse to answer, or should a lack of suitable representatives be found, you must consider yourselves unable to witness the announcement and acknowledgement of this award!”

At that, the small creamy aliens withdrew back up the impudent, tongue-like ramp, and after their withdrawal, the ramp drew back into the vessel and the mighty metal door shut with a tremendous sound.

#

Of the many different imagined versions of first contact with an alien race proposed by the human mind, this startling reality was perhaps entirely original… New York, and soon the world, was stunned, and quite simply remained so for the next hour or two after the aliens retreated. Then, a great fever of communications, speculations, discussions and proposals swept over the land…

Politicians spoke frantically amongst themselves, and gravely before the press; pressmen spoke frantically just about all the time; certain writers, cults and strange individuals rose up with great delight, declaring themselves justified in their long maligned claims; the general public were confused, alarmed, excited, some shutting themselves in their homes, others rushing like a swarm of locusts to the city of New York and the site of this alien visit, which had been rapidly contained and controlled by a bewildered military force.

Time passed, and a decision was reached.

Three men were chosen: Arnold Palmer, representative of the current president of the country chosen by the aliens as a landing place; Roger Thorpe, a man considered a brilliant scientist of his time by many eminent persons; and, considered a controversial choice by many, George Arkwright, a curious professor of ancient languages, who was finally chosen on the basis that he might perhaps provide some assistance should the party be confronted with any alien languages during the course of their journey.

This having been decided, the world awaited the elapse of the 24-hour period stipulated by the aliens.

Right on schedule, the alien vessel once again opened up and disgorged its means of disembarkation…

Several of the cream coloured aliens came forth from their vessel again and spoke by means of the devices held at the end of their arms, which wavered somewhat eerily in the air, seemingly unable to be kept still.

“Men of the world Earth, have you reached your decision and chosen from amongst yourselves three men to journey with us to the presentation of your award?”

By pre-arrangement, the three men stepped forward and shouted in loud, yet rather shaky, voices: “We have!”

There was a brief pause, and then: “So be it! Three men of Earth, please step on board our vessel, and you will be taken from here to the world on which your award awaits. We have enough of your Earthly foodstuffs aboard to provide you with all of your needs during our journey. Have no fear of harm, for we mean you none!”

After a rather longer pause, the three men stepped onto the ramp and began a sweaty ascent to its summit, fear and uncertainty clearly etched onto their faces.

They reached the top successfully, and, just before entering the interior of the craft, suddenly turned and spontaneously offered an awkward sort of wave to their fellow men… They then proceeded into the vessel.

The aliens delivered one final message to the people of Earth: “Have no fear! Your three Earthmen will be returned to you no more than five Earth days from now! They bring with them the award of which we have spoken. And now, as I believe is a custom on your world, we say to you: “”Goodbye!””

And the aliens swiftly withdrew, followed by the ramp, and the alien craft suddenly mustered up its tremendous energies and lifted into the sky, rapidly becoming a speck and then nothing at all to the world that watched.

#

On board, the three men were awestruck at the interior of this alien vessel.

It was a huge, wide open space, no rooms or other compartments being visible, and was lit by a strange, unearthly glow which did not seem to emanate from anywhere…

A variety of lights and strange screens surrounded them on the craft’s walls; these, perhaps, were the control points and instruments of navigation of this vessel.

The aliens, as though under orders not to, spoke little with the men during the journey; they seemed more intent on their instrumentation on the walls.

The three men had brought with them sleeping bags and also food supplies, just in case; however, they soon discovered that a pleasing variety of foodstuffs awaited them on board, and there were also some rather comfortable “beds” prepared for them, made and composed of some unknown alien substance.

The journey took some two and a half days, according to the men’s time devices, and their arrival on an alien world was only apparent by their host’s announcement of the fact…

“Three men of Earth! We have arrived on the world we call “Oobralubria.” We, whom you may choose to call the “Oobralubrians,” are your hosts, and also the “hosts” of this special event at which your award is to be presented to you. Many races from many worlds will also be present, and we must beg your patience as their awards are presented before yours… Come with us, we will now enter the arena of award-giving…”

At this, the ship opened, and the ramp went forth; the three men, upon walking out of the ship, were struck dumb by the sheer size and scale of the arena which awaited them.

It was huge, incredibly huge, bigger than any building the men had seen before in their lives, and, of the four walls which most likely surrounded them, only one was apparent; the rest were invisible, lost to the human eye in a great distance which could not be readily calculated…

Directly below the one visible wall was a great structure, which the men soon decided was some kind of stage upon which awards were being presented.

The floor of this stage shimmered strangely with a variety of colour, which was in direct contrast to the large wall behind it, which was of a solid, white colour, almost dazzling to the eye…

Upon the stage, one of the Oobralubrians could be seen handing a very unusual alien an object of some kind- perhaps, an award, the men wondered?

Abruptly, from all about them, a sound of cheering and jubilation could be heard- an odd, alien sound from alien voices and alien biologies- but certainly it was cheering, jubilatory… But from where exactly this cheering came, the men could not discern, for all about them was only distance, composed of a pure white “floor” stretching away to a distant horizon and the strange glow that was also on board the space craft…

Stunned, the men watched on in amazement…

As time went on, numerous alien beings stepped forth onto that flickering, multicoloured stage, and were presented with various objects which represented their particular award…

As each award was handed over, a weird sort of writing or scrawl appeared on the wall behind the stage; after a time, having gradually moved a little closer to the stage, the professor of languages theorised that this “writing” was in fact also present on the “trophies” being handed out to various alien beings, and that it denoted what particular quality or achievement the award was being given for…

Indeed, as time passed, the professor went so far as to say that he believed he was beginning to decipher the rough nature of this alien text, it bearing some resemblance to the ancient language of a now extinct people known as the Foofoola tribe, and even further as to say that this perhaps suggested a measure of alien contact with tribal peoples far back in the history of man…

“This award, I believe,” said Professor Arkwright, “is something to do with conquest, or the winning of many wars…”

And, at the next award: ” And this seems to be something to do with scientific progress, or endeavour…”

Thorpe and Palmer remained silent during all these speculations; totally consumed with awe and a sense of fear, they dreaded the moment when they might be expected to step forth onto the stage…

For it seemed that each race was not merely expected to step upon the sea of colour and accept their award; subsequent to the giving of a trophy, each race seemed to stay upon the stage and deliver some kind of speech, each one delivered in the same, alien tongue, which the men decided was perhaps a language common to the various races of the galaxy, and generally understood by most if not all of the aliens of this galaxy, despite the fact that each word may possess its own language…

#

Many hours passed, during which food and drink were brought from the Oobralubrians’ ship to the humans, though they partook of little.

(It was a testament to this arena’s vast size that the alien vessel could land comfortably within its confines, and it is likely that many other alien ships had also parked themselves in its vast spaces; though of these, none were yet visible.)

Suddenly, there was a change in the situation, for the Oobralubrians placed around the men several of the translation devices they had held, and then proceeded to mount the great stage and address all present, including the humans. (Towards the front of the stage, there seemed to be some means of amplifying speech. How it was so was not clear. A creature merely stood there, and his voice became amplified…) Their words came through clearly on the translators, though the message was originally delivered in the common tongue.

“Beings of the galaxy, conquerors, inventors, achievers, minds of great wisdom, hear us now! At the conclusion of this time-honoured event, we now present an award never before given to any race known in or to this galaxy,” (The alien text now appeared on the wall behind the stage,  as the speaking Oobralubrian raised in its hand a trophy, much unlike all the previous objects the men had seen presented, suggesting a uniqueness and difference which perhaps surrounded this award… As the writing appeared, Professor Arkwright stared intently at it, wrinkling his large forehead and staring his eyes as he struggled to divine its meaning…) “an award which it has taken much time to acquire the necessary data for, the necessary analysis and deliberation, and the correct spirit of fairness and judgement… Men of the planet… Earth, please step forward and take this award, and say a few words to all those in attendance!”

“What!” exclaimed Palmer, “He didn’t say what the award is all about! What the heck am I supposed to talk about!?”

He would have continued, but Professor Arkwright, who had suddenly emitted an exclamation of his own, had put a firm hand on his shoulder…

The professor simply said, in a quiet, almost melancholy voice: “I think it means… The award for the most… the most… FOOLISH… race of this galaxy… Yes… That’s it…”

The three men froze, halting their progress towards the large shimmering stage.

“We invite the three men of Earth to please come to this stage!” the Oobralubrian urged.

Roger Thorpe looked at the creature with anger.

“Why… Of all the… You… We’ll… FOOLISH!!!”

This time it was Palmer’s hand which came to rest on the shoulder of Thorpe; though hurt and filled with wrath, Palmer was a man with some experience in diplomacy, speaking, and interacting with foreign persons…

“I’ll take it from here, Thorpe,” he said in a stony voice, and, holding his jaw tight, he stepped onto the stage and beckoned his comrades to join him.

Reluctantly, and with great sighs, the two men joined Palmer on-stage; glaring murderously at the Oobralubrian, who now stood back from the front of the stage, the trophy still waving about curiously in its single hand, they proceeded to step just behind Palmer, respectfully placing their hands together and allowing him to begin his speech, as had been pre-arranged…

Palmer took the trophy from the unsteady hand, and then, still holding it, much as a weary parent may hold a used nappy, he stepped forward and addressed the vast auditorium…

He spoke passionately, ardently, tremendously… He spoke with conviction, firmness, and directness… He talked of his native Earth, of its achievements, its conquests, its politics and cultural advancements. He spoke of the great writers, painters and poets, and of what they had written, painted, and felt… He talked of how scientists had made breakthroughs and discoveries, what some of those achievements were and how they might lead to further advancement…

And, finally, he spoke with anger and hurt, and addressed both the arena and the Oobralubrians in terms of reproach and disapproval, and of how he felt that this “award” was of a most unkind, unfair and unmerited nature. Having spoken thus, Arnold Palmer sighed and stepped back from the front of the stage, his two comrades patting him on the back and offering him words of quiet commendation…

Then, out of the huge space before them, erupted a great applause, a great echoing of cheers and alien hurrahs…

The three men now stood somewhat proudly, perhaps expectant of some sympathy or even redemption from this terrible trophy of foolishness…

And then, the Oobralubrian stepped forward.

Addressing the unseen multitude which somehow watched on, he said: “Thank you, men of Earth! The applause you have just witnessed reveals just how greatly the races of this galaxy concur with the point your speech confirms! Your speech, so honest, so… heartfelt… has shown all of those here, in terms most revealing, and most insightful, scarcely missing out any detail or point which has a bearing on this matter, that the world of Earth and its Earthmen are indeed most worthy and deserving of the award presented here to them today, an award never before given in all the history of the galaxy: The Award For The Most Foolish Race In This Galaxy!

(Copyright Daniel Macintyre 12/12/2025 protectmywork.com)